And why you shouldn’t panic (yet)
It’s probably on every homeschool mom’s mind this time of year: that shiny, new curriculum you so carefully chose is sitting there, and you’re starting to wonder if you made a huge mistake.
Maybe you’ve already started and you’re thinking, “I got this curriculum and I don’t think it’s going to work for us.”
Hold on. Just wait. It might not be time to pack it in quite yet.
You Didn’t Choose That Curriculum Out of Thin Air
Let’s remember something important here. You chose that curriculum based on what you thought would be best for your child, for your family. You considered how things went last year, what you think your kid needs, where they’re headed with their education.
This wasn’t a random decision, was it? You probably spent hours researching, reading reviews, deciding what you could handle, what your child could handle, wondering if it would be a good fit.
So when you get it and start implementing it, and it’s not exactly as you thought it was going to go — just keep going.
Here’s the Thing About Reviews and First Impressions
Those glowing reviews you read? Of course curriculum companies put their best foot forward. They want to show you it can work for kids — that’s exactly why you chose it! But just because it worked for somebody else’s kid in a certain way in their household doesn’t mean it’s going to work that same way for you and your kid in your household.
Week one is not an indicator of how the rest of the year will go with that curriculum.
The Vacation Bike Rental Analogy
Think about this: We don’t start riding a bike on a two-wheeler. Most people start with training wheels, remove one, keep trying, remove the other — it’s wobbly at first. Then once you’ve learned to ride a bike, you think, “Okay, I can ride any bike.”
But here’s what happens on vacation. You think it’ll be wonderful to go for a family bike ride, but you don’t have bikes, so you rent them. Everybody knows how to ride a bike, so you think, “No problem.”
Then you get the bikes and you feel… awkward. You’re thinking, “I know how to ride a bike. Why am I having such trouble?”
But the handlebars are different than yours at home. The brakes respond differently. The seat needs adjustment — it’s more cushy or less cushy than what you’re used to. The gears shift differently.
You know how to ride a bike, but you have to figure out how that particular bike works.
Your Curriculum is That Rental Bike
It’s the same with curriculum. You’re not starting from scratch — you’re just learning how to use that particular curriculum to get the outcome you need for your child.
And your tween? They’re experiencing the same “new bike” feeling. They’ve been doing this school thing for a while, but now they’re hitting middle school. The academic rigor has increased. More is expected.
Curriculum often starts being written to the student instead of to you, the parent, to explain to your child. Instructions become more complex. Questions are harder. There’s an expectation of more independent thinking.
Sometimes what happens is your tween was flying through elementary curriculum — things were fabulous, they felt smart and accomplished. Then they hit middle school curriculum and think, “Whoa, what is this? I don’t understand what I’m supposed to be doing.”
Your tween might think, “I can’t do this.” It’s like saying on that vacation, “I can’t ride this bike.” They can ride the bike — it’s just going to take time to adjust.
You Don’t Have to Be a Slave to the Curriculum
Here’s what I want you to remember: the curriculum is a tool to help your tween reach their next goal. It’s not the goal itself.
You might end up using that curriculum in a way the publisher never had in mind. Maybe you won’t do every question. Maybe you need to step back and teach how to read instructions first. Maybe you’ll take more time, less time, or do chapters in a different order.
Just because the publisher laid it out a certain way doesn’t mean that’s the best way for your child to accomplish their goal. It’s one way, but you don’t have to be enslaved to it.
Think: “How are we going to use this curriculum to accomplish the goal we need it to help us accomplish?”
My Six-Week Rule
I encourage you — give it six weeks before you throw in the towel and declare, “This isn’t for us. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Six weeks of testing it out, asking “How can we use this to accomplish our goal?” Keep the goal in mind. The curriculum isn’t the goal — it’s the tool to achieve the goal.
Give yourself grace. Give your child grace.
You might be surprised. Six weeks in, you could be using the curriculum in a way that works for you and helps achieve your goals. That’s a win.
It’s About the Adjustment, Not the Failure
This isn’t about jumping on that bike and immediately knowing how to ride it perfectly. You’re going to have to tweak things, make adjustments, experiment, and figure it out together.
Remember: you’re helping your tween continue on a path that will eventually have them working with their gifts and talents. That’s what this is all about.
So if you’re dreading that first week or already feeling discouraged, take a breath. You’ve got this. It just might look different than you initially imagined — and that’s perfectly okay.
I’d love to hear how you’re adjusting curriculum to make it work for your tween and your family. Everyone figures things out slightly differently, and your creative solutions might be exactly what another parent needs to hear.