Are you making one of these five planning mistakes when you’re planning for your middle schooler this homeschooling year? Let’s fix them before they lead to burnout for both of you.
If your homeschool days feel chaotic, your tween seems overwhelmed, or you’re constantly second-guessing your approach, you might be stuck in patterns that worked beautifully in elementary but are falling flat now.
I’ve made every single one of these mistakes with my own daughters, and I’ve also made the shift that brought peace, purpose, and actual progress back into our homeschool rhythm. That’s why I want to share what I’ve learned with you today.
The Problem: Your Elementary Approach Isn’t Working Anymore
When I first developed what I now call the SHIFT method, our days went from chaotic and reactive to calm and focused. Not every day was perfect, but there was an overall calmer, more focused vibe in our household.
My daughters started getting more done in fewer hours with far less reminding to stay on task (you know what I’m talking about). And best of all, they had guilt-free time to enjoy activities that brought them joy – reading, creating, just being, riding the mini bike in the backfield, or playing with the cats.
I didn’t feel like I had to be constantly nagging: “Have you got your work done yet?”
The Top 5 Planning Mistakes I See Homeschool Moms Make
Mistake #1: No Long-Term Goals
When I didn’t have a plan for what was going to happen in high school or beyond, everything felt directionless. We were living moment to moment rather than thinking in long-term goals.
Without a clear vision of where your child is headed, it’s impossible to prioritize what truly matters in their education.
Mistake #2: Lack of Academic Rigor
If you’re coming from the elementary years, you might be used to less academic rigor – and that’s exactly as it should be. Elementary years are full of directed play, learning through play, and some academics, but it’s not super rigorous. It’s not meant to be.
But when you move to the middle school years, if you continue with that lack of rigor – if the schedule still feels like elementary with lots of freedom, little structure, and lots of group activities that aren’t really outcome-based – there’s going to be problems.
Middle schoolers are ready for more structure and accountability than their younger siblings.
Mistake #3: Too Many Subjects at Once
I was so guilty of this one. I was like, “We need to do ALL of these things!”
My kids got overwhelmed. We ended up dropping things mid-year, and then you feel like you’re failing. It’s not a good feeling for anyone.
Mistake #4: Short Work Blocks
In elementary, we can do a little bit of this and a little bit of that. You have stations for things – read this book, then do this craft – because attention spans are short and there’s not a lot of academic rigor required.
But in middle school, I was still doing 30-minute work blocks: 30 minutes of math, 30 minutes of language arts, 30 minutes of social studies, back to back to back.
Here’s what was happening: They’d just get into their math – getting their brain in gear, figuring out what they were supposed to be doing, starting to think it through – and they’d get two questions done. Then suddenly it was time for language arts, and now they had to shift to thinking about writing an essay or a story.
They were constantly being interrupted, and it was really hard to get into a productive flow.
Mistake #5: No Creative or Alone Time
We introduced alone time pretty early on, mostly for my sanity. Turns out it was for their sanity too, but tweens desperately need quiet time to process things.
Often this is left out completely because we think, “Well, we’ve got to get all these things done, and if you’re just being, you’re wasting time. You could be doing more math questions.”
The truth is, they’re trying to figure out who they are. Their bodies are growing and developing, their brains are telling them different things, they have big feelings to process. They need time to play, to be with their thoughts, to be creative, and to spend time not feeling like they’re on the clock.
Why Surface-Level Fixes Don’t Work
Maybe you’ve tried solving some of these problems by:
- Buying expensive curriculum bundles hoping they’d “cover everything” – but if they’re not rooted in your child’s actual path, it ends up being busy work
- Sticking with relaxed, elementary-style routines because that’s what you know – but middle schoolers need more structure
- Filling every minute with tasks and lessons – leaving no space for thinking, imagination, or emotional processing
These are surface-level fixes. The deeper issue is that your homeschool plan hasn’t grown up with your child.
Middle schoolers need structure, deeper thinking time, and space to stretch – not necessarily more activities.
The Solution: A Simple 3-Step Reset
Here’s a framework you can try right away:
Step 1: Define Future-Driven Goals
Look at your child and ask: Where can I see them going? What does their future look like?
This isn’t about what you’d like their future to look like, but based on their gifts and talents, where do you think they’re headed?
Pick four core subjects that align with where your child is headed – whether that’s traditional high school, trade school, creative paths, or something else entirely.
Step 2: Restructure the Day
Break your day into three work sessions: morning, early afternoon, and later afternoon.
Between these work sessions, have anchor times where you’re connecting with your kids – snacks, lunch, dinner, etc.
Blend block and loop scheduling so things actually get done without the overwhelm. You’ll have those time blocks between anchor times, and since you have more subjects on your schedule than work sessions in a day, you’ll loop through them.
This is actually way less overwhelming than trying to cram everything into every day.
Step 3: Create Breathing Room
Build in quiet time for creativity or reflection every single day. You might think, “I don’t have time for this!” But you don’t have time NOT to have time for it.
I recommend 60-90 minutes of quiet time right after lunch. It gives everyone time to restore, and if the morning felt chaotic, this quiet time becomes a reset for your day.
You’ll find the afternoon goes much better because everyone has had a chance to regroup.
Why This Approach Works
This framework works because it aligns your homeschool with your child’s stage of development. It’s not just about getting things done – it’s about creating space to actually accomplish the things that need to be accomplished (not busy work) while building a more peaceful, connected home in the process.
When you implement these changes, you can avoid the burnout that happens when you’re pushing too hard, too fast on things that may or may not matter. Your tween can finally feel supported instead of constantly frustrated.
Ready to Make the Shift?
The transition from elementary to middle school homeschooling doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With the right framework, you can create a rhythm that works for your growing child while maintaining your family’s peace and connection.
Remember, middle school is a unique stage that requires its own approach. Your child is ready for more structure, deeper work, and yes – more independence. Trust the process, trust your child, and trust yourself to make the adjustments needed for this new season.